Saturday, April 20, 2024

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Chronicles of a Renegade

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Editor’s Note: We are thrilled to welcome Mike Mankiewicz sharing his funny outlook on Fridays. Mike worked in the radio for 35 years which is why he is such a smart alec. He loves to make fun of everything including himself. He will write about PC gaming, easy recipes, why free movies kick booty, why people act so goofy sometimes, and always remember laughter is good for the soul!

By Mike Mankiewicz

Photo by Clay Banks on Unsplash

No Coffee?
Last night, before we went to bed, my wife casually mentioned that she thought I drank too much coffee. In the middle of the night, I woke up in a cold sweat from the scariest dream I ever had. There were no more coffee shops in the world. They had all been closed by order of my wife. I couldn’t believe it. There had to be some mistake. This was criminal!
Clearly, depriving me of this essential elixir poses a risk to public safety! Without my morning coffee, I become a danger to society, prone to committing irrational acts like trying to brew coffee in the toaster or opening an energy drink.
Depriving me of my morning coffee turns me into a walking advertisement for a mind is a terrible thing to waste.
Imagine a world where morning meetings are conducted without the soothing aroma of freshly brewed coffee. It’s a dystopian nightmare! Depriving me of my coffee is not just a crime against me but against all productivity and workplace morale.
No coffee would be like depriving a superhero of their powers. Without it, I transform into a sluggish, zombie-like creature, incapable of functioning at even a basic human level.
Coffee is my legal drug of choice, and denying me access to it in the morning is akin to denying medication to someone. Imagine Wolverine off his meds.
I woke up my wife and the two of us talked it over and finally agreed to let me have my coffee. It’s for everyone’s safety.
We also agreed to never speak of me and my coffee again.
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